My Story

As a little girl,
She thought of little more
Than love and romance,
Not realizing
How sadly disappointed she
Would someday come to be.
She sang sweet songs,
Planned her wedding,
And picked out baby names.
A few year passed,
And, 'though still a child,
Something was horribly awry.
Around the man
She cringed and sweated;
Her little soul
Hated to be near him.
More so, she trembled
With a very adult fear,
But didn't know why.
She never told a soul,
But suffered alone.
It wasn't her choice,
It wasn't her fault!
A few more years go by,
And, 'though only twelve,
The girl has had to grow up.
She still dreams of perfect love,
Of her darling Mr. Right,
But her world has crumbled,
And she is so afraid.
She swears never to wed,
To be an old maid,
That true love
Is simply a fairy-tale dream,
And fairy-tales are for babies....

Now, as she writes,
More years have passed.
Tears stream down her cheek
As her hand goes numb
From writing this poem.
She knows not all men are dumb,
That some have feelings,
But ev'ry fiber of her being
Is repulsed by a certain few
Who are nothing more
Than stains on her pure heart.
Yet she wonders,
Is she wrong?
Does she have the right to hate,
Or does she overreact?
The very sight
Of certain people
Takes her to a place
She never wanted to be.
She tries to be safe,
To dress modestly;
She can't figure out
If she would rather be pretty,
Beautiful,
Or ugly so they stay away.

She has a boyfriend -
He says she's pretty.
She doesn't dislike him at all!
He makes her life worthwhile.
But she is afraid, too.
She doesn't want to frighten him,
But she can't lie to him.
Her heart aches to think
He might not want her drama,
Might not want her fears.
But he tells her to be real....

The rain falls softly,
And the temperature drops.
Sidewalks are frozen,
Cars won't start,
The green of nature
Has turned brown and died.
She sympathizes...
The beauty is dead,
And a new world emerges
With each snowfall....

~ January 19, 2009 ~