Family Get-Togethers

The little ones play,
While the adults talk and laugh,
But in the car I'll stay.
I fear if I go in,
He'll see me,
Because I can't seem to win.
One more year
Is my comfort...
Soon I'll be out of here.
I'll go far, far away
And only come back
For maybe a day,
So he doesn't have time
To seek me out
And poison my mind.

I dressed well today,
I'm covered from head to toe
In shades of black and gray.
But he can undress me easily
And he sees in his mind
What, underneath, I must surely must be.

I know they all think
I'm horribly selfish,
Staying here while they eat and drink,
But I've tears to cry,
Wishes to make,
Prayers for him to die....

I love my little kids so much...
It's not yet to the point
Where poor Brittney cringes at his touch.
I pray the day never comes
When she, rather than see him,
Would prefer to hang
From the nearest tree,
As I, myself,
So often wish to be.

~ January 4, 2009 ~