Mem'ries of Happiness

The moon shines through
Into the darkened room,
And her eyes light upon
A red-faced girl.
Tears stream down her face,
Falling more swiftly
Than she can brush them away.
She is trying to be calm,
But something has struck her,
And the weeping does not cease.
Her curls fly frizzily away from her face;
She doesn't notice them.
Memories of a happy past
Nip at her tauntingly;
Jealousy, fear, and rage
Bite at her heart.
Her head says one thing,
Her heart says another,
And she is caught between the two,
Pulled up and down like a yo-yo,
A marionette
On a very long string.
Why this change,
She wonders,
When just minutes ago
She was safe and happy
In the strong, warm embrace
Of the man of her dreams?
She doesn't know,
But she doesn't like it.
She feels threatened,
Afraid,
And can't help looking in ev'ry corner
For an intruder.
There are none, though,
Only her fearful,
Hateful, angry thoughts.
They plague her like a disease....

Should she tell him how she feels?
Or pretend all is well?
Lying isn't good,
But a little acting...?
After all,
He isn't the problem;
She's proud of him!
He's a good friend,
A good boyfriend,
A good brother and son.
No, she's the problem.
She's too emotional,
She simply can't let go
Of her family's past.
Her naivete angers her;
She could have saved herself
From so much pain,
But she was only a child.
She was so content
To play at fairy-tales,
To dream of handsome princes
Who would sweep her
Off her feet
And give her a happily ever after...
And her grandmother,
Who knew better,
Let her dream....

She blames her now.
If she hadn't believed,
She wouldn't have been hurt.
She would've known
Not everyone get
Happily ever afters.
She prays
She will someday have one,
But is afraid to believe again....

It wasn't about her,
And she knows this.
But it hurts,
Despite the years,
And she can't help
Wondering
Why....

~ February 2, 2009 ~