Waiting

Lost and alone
Nervous and afraid
A young girl weeps.
So much has changed
Everything is so different
She knows better
Than to harm herself
She's been down tht road
It came to a dead end.
But she doesn't know
Where to turn
Who to trust.
She would never again
See death as an escape
She knows full well
That was a big mistake.
But she isn't sure
Where she's going
From here.
She was certain
She was healing
That everything was okay
But now it's not
Her world
Has turned upside-down
Someone she loves
Is again in pain
Someone she missed badly
She may never see again
And she doesn't understand
Why it's happening again.
She feels like
She can't tell anyone
She can't trust anyone
She is scared,
Very scared.
She's not ready
She's crying out again
"Why?
God, what have you done?
Why have you done it?
A god of love
Is loving
He shouldn't case pain.
So, God,
How could you do this
To me?
How?
Why?
Why?"

The girl
Doesn't know
What to say
What to think
How to respond.
A response
Would be amazing
A positive response -
A miracle.
So she's putting down her pen
Not giving up
Just waiting
Waiting for an answer
For anything
Anything at all...
Anything....

*Written after learning that yet another cousin might have cancer.*