Unexpected Encounter

In my wildest dreams,
I would not have suspected this.
My boyfriend leaves
With a parting kiss,
And I wander around the church,
Singing, of course.
My heels make no sound,
And the soprano notes take no force.
I am carefree,
Or try to be,
But I saw his truck outside,
And fear is gnawing at me.
I don't want to be scared,
So I take a deep breath
And try to calm my nerves -
But I am scared to death.

I think all is well,
As I've yet to see him,
When suddenly I hear
That dreadful voice that makes my head swim.
"Hello, my dear,"
He growls,
And the sound is to me
As frightening as when a lone wolf howls.
I shudder as I turn
To face the man I dread.
I tremble a bit,
And cruelly wish him a blow to the head.
Evil bastard,
I think,
Why can't you just go away,
Instead of driving me to this brink?

"Yes?" I ask instead.
He asks of my shoes,
But I can feel his eyes,
And his intentions are clear beneath his ruse.
He sees me
As only God has seen before,
And, in his perverted mind,
I am no better - or worse - thank a cheap whore.

I'm worth more than this!
I silently shriek.
When I finally escape,
I feel dreadfully weak,
Like one torn apart
By a dreadful storm.
My body feels cold,
Then clammy and warm.
Tears are welling
In my closed eyes,
And I want nothing more
Than for someone to hear my pained cries.
But, alas, I cry to myself.
There is no one nearby
To hold me,
To comfort me as I cry.
We are in God's house,
And most consider the cause of my pain
To be glorious saint,
A pillar without a single stain
On his precious religious record.
But those fools do not know
The things I see,
Nor do they hear as I hear - No,
I'm not free
To do a thing.
For I turn a corner,
And, as if warned by a bird on wing
Of my approach,
He stands and stares
And dreams gross dreams
Of collecting my maiden "wares."
I hate him,
'Though 'tis truly evil,
For he is to me
An incarnation of the devil,
And should be treated as such.
For these thoughts, I myself should be
Condemned to hell
For forever... for an eternity.

So I pray, dear God,
Forgive me!
Surely you know,
Surely you see
Why I feel so horribly
Inclined to curse,
For there are few things
That could be any worse
Than being lusted after
By one's own flesh and blood,
A man you once cared about,
The grandfather you once might've loved.

~ December 3, 2008 ~