I'll Be Home For Christmas

I'll be home for Christmas,
But only in my dreams.
For truly,
There is no Christmas -
Only broken homes and broken hearts.
Everywhere I see
Red and green,
Red for the blood and tears,
The pain and desperation I live;
Green for the envy,
The hatred and jealousy
That I feel,
When people murmur "Merry Christmas."
For I know theirs will be,
And mine will not.
So, truly,
I'll be home for Christmas
But only in my
Lost, miserable, insane, feverish dreams.

- December 18, 2007