"Dear God..."

Dear God
I'm on my knees again
I just can't seem to find your light
I know it's out there
Out there somewhere
But where?
Why is it evading me?
Why do you let the pain go on?
You are love
Supposedly
You live in me
Supposedly
But I can't find your love
I can't bring myself to love

At the same time
I can't stop loving them
I miss them so
I wish they were here
They claimed your life
And now they're gone
They don't care
They don't see
How much pain they've caused
For me

Is this then
The fate of all?
A life of pain and death?
For having you,
A god of love
Reside in me,
Why do I feel little but hate?

Why, God?
Why them?
Why me?